R E N T

Heaven knows what...

I missed that chance once... I won't do it again.

By: Vientiane T. Pajo (a.k.a Star Gazer)

*Author's Note:: This entry is dedicated and for Myelle...

I am regreting that time I signed-out from Yahoo Messenger™ just dropping you a message and thinking you were not online. Now I am sitting here typing this and soundtripping.

I am in regret.

I am drowned in my own misery.

I should've stayed online wait for all eternity and I don't care how long. I got your offline message you were so sad for I didn't wait for you.

I am so sorry that I didn't wait for you... Light! I am so sorry here I am sitting in my chair stopping the tears but in my heart tears are flodding me.

Just wishing that you could fogive me.

I want to talk to you, be with you, tell you how sorry I am and something else.

But I logged off.

I know I can't change what I did but I want you to know this... I might not be able to change that but I am not gonna let that happen again. And this time it will be different.

I know I sound like shit and look like a helpless romantic.

Coz that is how I feel and who I am.

Your last message asking me why I logged off... when I checked my YM for after an hour.

I feel so lonely.

I am in guilt.

I wish that you were reading this with me.

I wanna look in your eyes as you read each sentence... each line or word. By your side and smile as you lift your face from this essay or whatever they call it I am writing and tell you...

I don't want to say too much "If's" coz what happened... happened but if there was a time I would use that word...

I'd say...

If I stayed online I would be very happy and told you...

tell you these words I have been trying to tell you...

for months has been growing in me...

I won't make it longer...

I'll look in your eyes and tell you...

That day I told you I like you...

I meant every word to my heart...

Who knows where will this lead?