After a long break...

Hey all! Been gone for a very long time as you may have noticed.

Been into a few things here and there.

I am updating my blog. Giving it a new feel and touch.

^_~ Something's gonna brew up now and then. Or should I say brewing already? Lol.

Stay tuned and take care all!


Ciao~!

~†Vien

Roses blown on a paper...

I wrote something on a piece of paper on school, today. Guess what I wrote?

*Flashes of memory*

***Light falls diagonally on a classroom, I was sitting by the window the wind blowing on my face and the sun's rays casting an aura about me.***

*Scratching noise.... plays with the pen and scratches his head***

Grayscale...

The light plays on my face,
I wrote freely without pace,
Blindly I ran through the dark,
The only light my heart,
With its fleeting spark.

Words that are so cheesy,
Deep in I feel queasy,
I thought this would be easy,
Words slip from my mind as if greasy,
I'm getting dizzy and lost in the search for words.

So ends the verses and lines,
And with it the rhymes,
The first note of many symphonies,
The scenery glowing with fireflies,
Hear now the symphonies of my heart.

All along I've been hiding in my shell,
With only my shyness and smiles to sell,
I'm alone a lost little cell,
Fearing that I may make a wrong step,
Longing for acceptance and understanding.

The last years of gloom ended,
The tears stoppped falling,
Fear itself was running,
A few talks all it took,
And a whole new step.

I can't help but ask the stars if all this is concidence... chance or maybe choice... all I know is that I'm here... with you.

You asked me why I was silent I answered "Must be the weather." When I turned around I whispered "coz I'm afraid to tell you how I really feel".


***The scratching of the pen ends***

I wrote something on a piece of paper on school, today. Guess what I wrote?

I wrote our names...

Falling leaves...

I won't be apologizing if I haven't posted anything.

But rather I would like to apologize if I haven't spared you guys much time.

Let's say I drove through Life Interstate and Lane 143, that is if you get my drift. I've been sentimental/emotional (not rock type mind you ^_~) just reflecting on very simple things in life. Painting my own picture blending reality and fantasy, writing poems, composing a song, trying to sing without much success that is and... oh!

There's something new.... Photo Editting!!

Our Computer Subject is just so fun! A dose of fun, multiply laughter to the next level, and lots to learn! (I'm like endorsing a movie eh?)

Well... I think that may be all for now. I'm going to start posting again.

Ciao!

Vien

Memories, questions, chance or choice?

She just came from school and decided to drop by for a cup of coffee. She left her things on the chair in front of me and went inside.

I took slow and careful sips and wondered about the events yesterday. Yesterday’s events that kept washing over me like a tidal wave and started a debate in my head regarding the topics about mere chance and destiny.

But wasn’t it that most chances are forms of destiny?

She came out of the coffee shop with a smile on her face.

“So what made you drop by?” I asked grinning and yearning to know the answer.

It was just another curious question.

She smiled and raised an eyebrow and cocked her head at one side looking thoughtful.

“My feet just led me here.” She smiled.

“Oh I see…” I said waiting for a reply.

“Alright you saw through me. I just had a gut feeling. Hmm… why are you so curious?” She smiled and had a questioning and playful smile on her face.

“I was just wondering.” I said and added “Hmm… do you believe that chances and small events turn out to be the turning points in our lives?” I asked offhand and half to myself.

It was her turn to look at me wonderingly and what made me ask that question. She traced the brim of her cup while thinking.

She was silent for a long while then…

“You are different than most people.” And she stared at me in the eyes.

It was not a cold stare, just full of seriousness and a deepness I can’t understand. I just gazed at her and pondering her reply.

“Events no matter how small or trivial are turning points in our lives, Mel.” She said as she was looking at the street but her eyes were glassy as if she were not there. “A simple bump can turn your life upside down or in a full spin. People think of chance as something less like coincidence for they fear something… they fear change. And change means to adapt to something they like or not. But that is destiny and that is what is meant to be.”

I sat there in deep thought and replied.

“But not everything that is meant to be is meant to be, but what we choose it to be.”

She just smiled there and looked a little sad.

“Is everything alright Nicelle?”

She just smiled at me with a hint of loneliness in her eyes. Moments of silence passed and she just took continuous sips as the sun bathed the both of us in light and making the surroundings glow.

An idea crossed my mind and I stood up.

She looked at me questioningly.

I smiled.

“The sun’s shining and it’s not crying, the birds are singing and chirping, the wind is laughing not mourning, and the day is still young, for this is a day of happiness not of mourning.” I finished with a smile and bowing as if reciting grandly.

I looked at her waiting for a reply.

She was hesitating and bit her lip.

Then she laughed.

I laughed too then we gathered our things and our drinks and walked towards the park. She was smiling all the way and a little flushed maybe because of the heat. We chatted about how things were at her school and how things were with mine. Then we arrived at the park.

We sat by a tree on a big field with some trees and a like by the side. I swear it was nice and a little breath-taking, you could see the children playing about, the shadows cast by the clouds, the wind on your face, people laughing and the chirping of the birds.

She rested her back on the tree and just drank in the sight before her.

“I remember when I was a child I used to play by the lake and splash around.” She said reminiscently.

I brought my guitar and took it out and played a few songs.

She smiled at me lazily and said “That’s a nice song where did you learn that?”

I grinned and told her simply “From an old song book.” She chuckled and listened to the music as we just sat there in peace. Then she took out some books from her bag and started reading.

A hotdog vendor passed us and walked towards the children.

“Are you hungry?” I asked her.

“Yup, you bet. And you?” She said.

“Yeah, wait here I’ll get us some food.” I said and jogged towards the vendor.

Nicelle was watching Melchi as he ran towards the hotdog vendor and couldn’t help but giggle and wonder if this was all coincidence. She thought of yesterday’s events and sat there deep in thought. Yet she was feeling something strange… she could feel warmth and comfort toward him. “Maybe it is just how I feel towards him as a friend.” She mumbles but doubts herself.

“Two hotdogs please and some iced tea.” I told the vendor.

“You got it! Cough up man this is going to be a handful.” He said grinning.

“Thanks!” I said.

“Are you with that beautiful lady up at the hill and by the hill?” He said.

“Yup I am with her.” I said “and yes she is beautiful, well… a beautiful personality.” I added.

“You are lucky man to have a girl like her. Well good day to the both of you!” He smiles and looks at Nicelle and gives his cap a tweak and goes away waving.

“Wait! She’s not…” I called.

I walked towards the hill and was very bothered by what the man said. I know we only knew each other for more than a day. She has a nice personality, high sense of humor, cute, beautiful… personality and is outspoken in a good manner. We have a lot in common like love for coffee, star gazing, walking under the rain and a lot more.

I look at her.

“Why am I bothered so much?” I muttered to myself.

But I just can’t explain this sudden sheepishness and happiness in me. Maybe it has something to do with friendship because I am comfortable and happy around her all the time.
She looked at me smiling. “That was fast. You must really be starving, come on let’s eat.” She said.

I smiled and gave her, her hotdog and her Ice Tea. While we were eating I just kept on stealing glances at her.

“Is something wrong with my hair or face?” she asked me.

“Huh? What? No. Nothing.” I stammered.

“Then why have you been stealing glances at me then?” She asked suspiciously.

“What are you talking about?” I said.

“Maybe I just imagined it.” She said.

We ate and talked about the children playing and our childhood. Listened to the splashing of other kids and parents by the lake and talked on a wide variety of topics as the wind played with our hair and as we sat under the tree’s shade.

She yawned and set down her books. “I’m sleepy and tired.” She said.

“Do you want to go home?”

“No I just wanna stay here; it’s such a loss to miss such a beautiful day.”

Then she leans back and rests her head on my shoulders. She looks at me for a moment. “Don’t you dare move too much or I’ll leave a mark on your ribs as a reminder of what you have done.” She said chuckling a little bit and went to sleep.

I smile and told her to rest and I played her a song as she slept. After some time I look at her and wonder if it really was destiny that made us meet. Was it something more? Or is the world, as they say, just small where people bump into each other.

The wind played with her hair and her hair danced on her hair. She looked really at peace just sleeping there, her head resting on my shoulder. A woman is even more beautiful when she is at peace, as the sunlight makes a glow around her, and when you are with her.

She is simple, smart, amazing, funny and a lot more.

I smile and combed her hair slightly and gazed at the skies…


What shall happen again? What is next? What shall become? Is destiny really choice? Or is it pure chance? Or could it be a mixture of both? Chapter 3 arrives… as the sun that rises.

A sip of Coffee, A sunset what next?

Sitting outside in a coffee table sipping a frapuccino. No one knows what I'm thinking. Just watching the crowd pass by and letting time move on.

Jut me drowned in my own thoughts... sipping my coffee lazily.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder.

A sweet voice behind me asks "Is this seat taken?".

I turn around to see her smiling and looking at me questioningly.

"Nah feel free to sit."

I reply flashing a warm smile of my own.

First few minuites in silence... just me drowning in my thoughts as usual and idly taking a sip out of my Frapuccino and her taking continous sips from her Black Coffee.

The silence was broken by a question....

"Why is life... life?"

I look at her astounded and quite confused about the question she raised and wondering if I should answer it.

She looked at me deeply in the eyes. Just a steady expressionless gaze.

I took a sip.

"Life is simply as it is, what it is, how it is and why it is. As simplicity is perfect but deep."

She looked wonderingly at me and smiled.

She took a sip.

"Thanks Mr. ?"

"Melchi"

She laughs a bit. "Melchi... nice name... hihih" she says it playfully.

"And may know as what your name is?" I say grinning.

Sips a bit of coffe, glances at her watch and smiles. "Why?" she says simply.

"Payback? Just joking." I said grinning.

"Silly heh... just call me Nicelle. My name is Katie Nicelle Jennifer May Miller. In short Nicelle."

I smile and speak her name "Nicelle..."

"You can't make fun of my name unlike yours.... Melchi... cheese? heh" She jokes around again.

We talk for a long time as our drinks were slowly running out. There was a wide variety of subjects covered changing and jumping quickly like a wind changes its direction. From a simple ballpen to Politics, education to Faith and Life to Perfection. It was already 5:30 PM and you could see the sun, a blood-orange ball attracting every eye, sinking into the Horizon to rest.

"It's just beautiful how the sun meets the earth..." she says half to herself.

I look at the same direction "It reminds me of many things and tikles an emotion in me."

She looks wonderingly at me and smiles knowingly. And we continue talking but this time about what we do, where do we study in short getting to know each other.

It got dark and there were stars appearing like white lily flowers in May. We both look up as the street lights started turning on around us bathing us in orange light.

"So simple and so deep. You know what I used to spend my teenage days gazing up at them and fall asleep by the window sill. Lucky though I didn't fell." I said remembering those star gazing nights.

She smiles and looks a little surprised. "You love star gazing too?" she laughs.

"Why?"

"Nothing" she says playfully and she fell silent an air of recalling around her. "Most people make fun of me for my love for stars and star gazing."

"Ohhh I see... same here." I said as I raised my hand.

She giggles right on the spot and I swear she blushed. We got our things and agreed that I would walk her home since it was dark. I don't have a car just a bike which I chose to leave behind at home for an unkown reason.

We were walking by the park. Then...

It rained.

She squealed a little bit and not knowing it would rain I have no umbrella. Just great, but I brought a Trench Coat with me.

I asked her to wear it. But she refused.

"I am not wearing that with you getting wet in the rain. Something might happen to you." Concern and firmness in her voice and face.

"Alright let's both share" I said smiling.

We tried to fit in my Trench Coat but as it was only made for one person the result was that one of us could only fit in. Not to mention on the first try I actually got my head in where the arms are placed wierd but yah it happened.

She said something that made me smile, left me speechless and shock.

"Since this Coat of yours can't fit on us both. Let's just walk under the rain. It's night time anyway hehe..." she laughs and says it in a chidlish way.

"Ok... sure if you're up to it."

She ruffles my hair and pouts. "You think I am a kid don't you?" and smiles.

I was silent and grinned instead.

We walked under the rain and she asked "Most people find it romantic to walk under the rain. You know why?"

I shrugged and knuckled my brains for an answer but my emotional side took over me and I said "Coz rain is so unexpected that it brings people close together, huddled together when it rains. Destiny at it's finest and most romantic aspect." I finished with a smile.

She tapped her lips thoughtfully and smiled "Rain is the very crossroad of life where 2 or more people meet unexpectedly and as you said, destiny at its finest." She shook her head and I heard a sniff.

"You're having a cold wear..."

She cut me from mid-sentence.

She rounded at me and I noticed her eyes were a bit red and puffy. I wonder if that had anything to do with a simple cold.

"I am not wearing it and you getting soaked like a duckling." she said firmly.

Concerned painted my face and I look in her eyes.

"Really everything's ok heh... don't worry" She smiles.

We walked in silence and rather close to each other for it was getting darker.

She shivers.... "Cold... so cold..." she says as she rubs her arms around her. And hugs herself.

I put my arm on her shoulder. "Erm... hope you don't get mad. Just helping yah."

She smiles and cuddles with me and holds me close. A warm murmured "Thanks".

The rain pours on and we finally reach her home. She turns around and looks at my eyes.

She says goodnight and goodbye.

I say my own goodnight and goodbye...

I turn around thinking of what happened this day...

There was a tap on my shoulder.

I turned around.

There she was smiling and looking at me and acting a little childish.

"Wanna come in? My mom and dad can cook us something up you know. And I asked their permission it's ok with them. C'mon."

"You sure it's fine with them?"

"Yupy yup yup!" she smiles.

I grin "Alright but coffee again if you don't mind."

She laughs "Sure! And what shall be the meal for your appetizer sir?" She jokes around and pretends to be a hotel waitress.

"Silly heh..." I said.

We went inside her house......

She introduced me to her mom and dad who were beaming at me warmly. We all sat in the table and ate with much laughing, talking and joking. Again we all got to know each other. I was walking towards a window and watching it rain outside.

"Nice thing the rain does at night, don't you think?"

I smiled and thought to myself. "Yah... very..."

She looks at me and asks "Shall I see you again tomorrow?"

I look at her and take a sip of coffee...

"Time will tell Nicelle..."

She looks a bit sad but smiled and the rain stopped pouring. I went home and her waving goodbye and her parents as well.

THE NEXT DAY...

I was again sitting by the same table and sipping my same old time favourite drink, Frapuccino.

Someone tapped my shoulder.

"Is this seat taken?" A playful voice says.

I turned around.

It was the last person I expected to show up.

"Hey stranger" she said smiling at me.

We laugh...

"Nah feel free to sit." I said smiling....

Who knows what's next? ^_^

There might be a part 2...

Did I mention that it is also raining here? And night time.

Destiny....

R E N T

Heaven knows what...

I missed that chance once... I won't do it again.

By: Vientiane T. Pajo (a.k.a Star Gazer)

*Author's Note:: This entry is dedicated and for Myelle...

I am regreting that time I signed-out from Yahoo Messenger™ just dropping you a message and thinking you were not online. Now I am sitting here typing this and soundtripping.

I am in regret.

I am drowned in my own misery.

I should've stayed online wait for all eternity and I don't care how long. I got your offline message you were so sad for I didn't wait for you.

I am so sorry that I didn't wait for you... Light! I am so sorry here I am sitting in my chair stopping the tears but in my heart tears are flodding me.

Just wishing that you could fogive me.

I want to talk to you, be with you, tell you how sorry I am and something else.

But I logged off.

I know I can't change what I did but I want you to know this... I might not be able to change that but I am not gonna let that happen again. And this time it will be different.

I know I sound like shit and look like a helpless romantic.

Coz that is how I feel and who I am.

Your last message asking me why I logged off... when I checked my YM for after an hour.

I feel so lonely.

I am in guilt.

I wish that you were reading this with me.

I wanna look in your eyes as you read each sentence... each line or word. By your side and smile as you lift your face from this essay or whatever they call it I am writing and tell you...

I don't want to say too much "If's" coz what happened... happened but if there was a time I would use that word...

I'd say...

If I stayed online I would be very happy and told you...

tell you these words I have been trying to tell you...

for months has been growing in me...

I won't make it longer...

I'll look in your eyes and tell you...

That day I told you I like you...

I meant every word to my heart...

Who knows where will this lead?

I am back again!

A friend of mine said I could make a song out of this poem of mine... if... it were shorter. ^_^ hope you peepz out there like it! :D happy reading too yah all! Hello July!! :P Autumn is at our doorsteps... hmm... the nights are getting colder... there are still the stars and rains... ^_^

Untitled Poetry…
By: Vientiane Melchizedek T. Pajo

My own life is such a big puzzle
My heart screams at me it needs a muzzle
My very soul cowers in one side
I look like a corpse with each stride
All those changed till I saw you one day.

I was with my friends one afternoon
Out of the blue your name pulled my ear
They say you and I have a lot in common
So curious you are to know us
I too am so curious to know you.

Your eyes were like deep pools
I could spend the whole day looking at them
Not noticing time that passes
Yet when I read the words that describe you
A loud beat from my heart greeted each word from you.

You and I like to gaze at the stars at night
Just let our minds and hearts take flight
I too love to walk under the rain
Watch the sunsets with the one I love
And kiss her under the rain and the starry nights.

The first time I saw your page in the net
I got even more curious on how you think
I can’t help but admire you a lot
It is not how you look or your smiles and eyes
But it is who you are and see life that I like most.

______________________________
I admire you so much
Without having seen you in person
What more if I spend my time with you
What more if I see you and talk to you
The inevitable will happen and that is…

I shall fall in love with you…

Your eyes are deeper than any sea
Your smile brighter than sapphires
Your words caress my heart with each word.
_____________________________________

ciao!

A happening... a decision

One school day... during CL Class...

The teacher asked the students to close their eyes and relax. Almost all of the students thought "Another meditation stuff... pif..." what they didn't know is that it was something more....

"Imagine that you are a bed-ridden patient, lying in a bed... waiting for your time..." the CL teacher said. "The doctor tells you that you only have 2 hours and a Half to live who are the 4 people that you would like to see and talk to before you die?" He continues...

One student in particular named Melvin picked the 4 most important people in his life besides God. "Mom, Dad, Elle, Min" and he imagined them at first he thought everything was ok... but he was slowly swept by the tide of emotions while telling to each one of them in his mind his parting words.

"Only an hour left to live.... says the doctor to you... choose the 2 people you want to speak and talk too..." The CL Teachers says calmly... background music plays and it slowly affects Melvin... and some other people in the class.

"Elle, Min..." Said Melvin to his mind... and talked to them silently. Unknowingly tears brimmed his eyes... chocking it back... his head felt light and he felt as if he were really in the scene... he was not acting. His emotions carried him and words poured out of his mind... into what seemed to be real.

"Half an hour... just one person.... who?" Said the Teacher softly...

"Who? Both are close to my heart and very important to me... both......" Melvin thought sweat was slowly beading in his head in small amounts... he didn't know who... but his heart took over... and whispered a name.... "Min.................." and Melvin was so shocked.... his bestfriend since he was in pre-school. Since he was 3 years old.... he again imagined everything he wanted to tell her. Every last thing... tears burned his skin.... as he taught... explained.... imagined something that felt so real.

"Only 5 minuites to live... give that person a gift he/she won't forget and will bring wherever she is... what she is doing and whatever happens..." Said the Teacher calmly and pacing softly... like the silent beat of death creeping... and drawing near.

"What if I kissed her? That is rude you silly little boy!!!!...." Melvin thought hard... concentrated for it was so hard then.... "Knowing her since I was young.... I will give her the gift of spending my time with her... the good memories...." It was too long and just one.... so he confessed and surrendered to his feelings.... "Min... I will always love and ever will." The gift of love... his love to her that he once confessed he thought was gone but was always there. And forever remained not as friends or sister and brothers as she said.

But now he confessed "All this times I want to be by your side. Wipe the tears away from your eyes as you cry. Hold you close and drive away your fears. You walk in the rain... in fear that someone will see you cry and that someone will see your fears and weaknesses in life. You are not alone... I am here and I will hold your hand and never let go of you. That is how much I care for you... and as slang words put it... how much I give a damn about you... you mean so much to me... you just don't know how much." Until Melvin couldn't say anymore words and just hugged her in her mind and somehow let her feel his emotions and he let his emotions flow... he was almost to the point of crying.... as sadness and loss racked him... care... love... and everything. Every bit of kept and hidden thought in his mind and heart and even his very soul he opened them all... confessed and surrendered.... told everything... felt emotions flow through him....

"5 Seconds what shall you want to tell him/her your last word or phrase... tell that person now..." Said the CL Teacher... silently...

"Min... I will always love you... even though you never believed much that I do love you..." Melvin actually felt himself being pulled away lightly back to his body... he felt the tears....

"As you slowly close your eyes look at the person... what is his/her expression? What does she/he feel?" Said the CL Teacher...

Min was crying... really crying... smiling and crying... for reasons she only knows... and Melvin thought... "I always hoped of marrying you even though we are still young... I think of this... you are the perfect wife... not for me but for any man. I can see my wife... she is so beautiful... except that she has tears on her face... don't cry... I am always here... I will always love you... my first love and always the one I shall love till after the end.... Min........."

Melvin felt himself slide back to his body... he was very sad... calm... for he confessed the only part of his life he denied and tried to hide.... his feelings for his bestfriend Min.

"Inhale and exhale.... breath in and breath out.... feel the air coming in and out of you... now as you slowly feel that breathe and air or wind.... slowly.... slowly open your eyes and write the 4 people you picked. Then crumple the 2 you didn't choose.... then crumple the one you didn't pick... then with the one you picked... write that person's name on top it could be in codes or something.... and below it... on the space below it write your gift for him/her or to him/her and below that write what you last said to him/her."

Melvin did it all over again... the emotions and memory fresh in his mind and heart.... and his soul. He couldn't stop the tears... they never flowed or fell... but in him... he was weeping and was happy at the same time... for he now confessed and surrendered to his feelings and stopped denying.... he loves Min with all his heart.... and is wishing that she is reading this entry of his....

Hope you are reading this...

Same title and same entry from my blog at Friendster ^^ feel free to check it out guys and gals.


It all started one day... with a simple text message out of the blue. Who knows where it will lead? Is it destiny or pure coincidence?


Sanji, a normal Senior High School Student met a woman during his 3rd Year summer vacation. Her name was Hitokiri Myeshi. One night while Sanji was with his friends in a Reunion of a Club, someone texted him. He looked at the number and wondered, Is someone playing a prank at me here? hmm..., Sanji continued talking to the girl throughout the night. He thought the girl was funny, mysterious, a nice person and a very good at making conversations happy not boring unlike the other girls he met.

Soon their texting reached chatting, Friendster™ and their texting stopped but were able to communicate through chat but it all went silent for Miyaki was seldom online but Sanji didn't blame her but missed her and the way she made him laugh and how they both laughed. Sanji, continued to meet a lot of girls but whenever he remembers Hitokiri he smiles and sometimes laughs alone.

After 2 months of silence... they both start talking again when Sanji sent a Group Message through his Yahoo! Messgenger™. And to his surprise Myeshi was one of the few people who responded. He clicked the "Reply" button and was surprised to see her online. Sanji and Miyaki chatted for a long time. Miyaki, comforting him and soothing his pains and really cared for him. Then after 2 months of sadness, pain and grief; Sanji smiled and laughed a lot again thanks to Miyaki. Throughout the summer nights and days Sanji always remembered his and Miyaki's chats during days or afternoons or even night times.

They kept on laughing and Sanji had a problem... he is usually corny at trying to make people laugh. So he tried his corny side at Miyaki and to his surprise left Miyaki laughing and laughing.
So the days went on... Sanji was normal... outside but inside he was afraid. For he liked Miyaki more each day... the way she made him laugh... the way she cares for him... the way she makes his fears go away and help him in solving his problems. One day he confessed that he likes her... a lot. She was speechless but all went well... but she was seldom online. Sanji thought that she was really busy and that was alright. He kept on sending messages... but a small knot in his heart fears that she is either insecure or something else. But he continues to say everything is alright heh... I know it is.